Simple Little Things

   So a quick life update! I've been busy working what is now THREE part-time jobs, trying to save money and decide the next step for my career. I went and saw Mike Birbiglia perform stand-up and got to chat with him for a brief moment. He is absolutely phenomenal and I felt like I was watching a master class in delivery and comedic timing. It seems so effortless, but I know as a fellow performer that there is a lot of craft to what he does. Fantastic, Birbigs.

   The next night I attended Alumni night at my Alma Mater, Temple University. There was a reception before the show and then we were all invited to the school's performance of Hair. The whole event was so overwhelming. Every time I started to get into the beginnings of a conversation another person passed by ,me or tapped me on the shoulder. One of my professors I haven’t seen in at least a year hugged me and spilled my wine on himself. It was so good. There is so much love at Temple Theaters and I am really blessed to still feel like I have a family there.  And my god! Hair was nothing short of phenomenal. Those kids should have been getting paid. They were goddamn professionals. Flawless night of honest to goodness storytelling. Holy crap they were good, y’all. I highly suggest attending future shows. The talent level makes me so proud to count myself as an Owl.

  Afterwards I drove one of my most influential professors home from the Alumni event. I discussed with her my feelings right now, living at home and working three non-theater jobs and how nothing interesting is going on. She said “ It’s nice to do exciting things. That’s great when you’re doing exciting things. But its also great to appreciate the quiet times in your life and the little things in your day to day that make you happy.” I think this is really important. It’s easy to get caught up in defining meaning in your life by doing “important things” what you’re “working on”. Of course it’s easier to encounter a group of your peers if you’re armored with a response of “Yes I am doing brilliant work I have amounted to something” But isn’t something being happy? I spent the past few weekends with people I adore, who make me feel good, appreciated, and fun to be around. That version of me, in those moments, that's the person I want to be. That’s the person I want to bring to the table when I am lucky enough to be working on an acting project. I think that kind of “work”, getting to the root of that self is just as important as finding new material and auditioning and marketing and all that jazz.

Here are some pictures of simple little things that make me very happy and full:

Fun times at AC Beerfest!

New friends at Beerfest. We're DUM.

Wine with Mom on the Patio.

Finding a shady spot.

Best nap buddies ever.

Took a Jamasy selfie at Alumni Night at Temple! #templemade

Mike Birbiglia smiled at me. I can die happy now.

Substitute teaching has its mini-perks when you sneak silly selfies with your friends little brother.

One of my best friend's Chelsea performed last night and was pure grace. Absolutely beautiful and funny and relatable. She's moving to NYC in two weeks. I'm both profoundly jealous and happy for her.

Nary's making breakfast. Jack in his natural state, sans shirt.

Baller

Okay kids, time for an update! My New Voices Cabaret was super fun! Zach Wiseley is a baller accompanist and an even ballerer(?) friend. He is more than supportive and we had so much fun. You can check out a video of one of the songs here!

I've been doing alright. Enjoying time with my family and friends and working a whole bunch. Been auditioning and learning about myself every time I do so. The other day I subbed at my high school and got to watched the musical assembly. It brought back a whole  mess of memories. That was the best day of school. Getting out of class to perform all day? What could be better? Seeing the excitement on these kids' faces was pretty cool. I'm glad to see the tradition lives on even after my teachers have left the department. I wouldn't be the performer I am today without that auditorium and all of the things that happened there.


On another note...I always seem to start projects and never finish them. I feel like I have a small case of adhd and I know everyone says that OOOOH SAY YES TO THE DRESS IS ON! Okay. I'm back. I've seen this one. Spoiler: She says yes.

So yes, I am a serial non-finisher. I have several thrift-store art projects that are taking up room in my bedroom but are gathering dust. I got a bass guitar for my birthday in high school, never learned how to play. The piano is still not mastered (damn you left hand!) I have the time to do these things. I just don't seem to have the self-discipline, even though I know they'd be awesome to have in my skillset and save me from loneliness and boredom. SO my new venture- opening my own Etsy shop for vintage clothes and accessories- is very exciting to me. I have always loved finding treasures at thrift/antique stores and estate sales. Curating items for the shop is an artistic act and that's why I'm pretty sure I'm going to follow through on this one. That I can put my hands on it and feel it and see it published on a professional looking website without a crazy amount of work. Heck, I might not make a dime off of it but at least I will feel the satisfaction in my brain that I took an idea I had in my head during that uber creative time between sleeping and waking up for the day (before being bombarded with the worries of life) and turned it into a reality. That's the best time of day for me. I wonder if that's maybe why I love naps so much?

My good friend Veronica and I got free thai tea just cuz we're good looking. I thought it was worth being documented. :)

Daisy is getting involved in Mommy's budding vintage business

Mama Cindee and I at Mamma Mia!

Me and my buddy Kevin Casey, MD for the Mamma Mia tour!

Actor day off

It Just Takes What It Wants!!!

Last week I was in Memphis for UPTA. It is my third time attending the auditions, and my third year out of college. I noticed how different I feel since the first time I nervously did this thing. I sat in the same waiting room I've sat in twice before, but the jitters weren't there. I joked and got to know some of my fellow actors. I crouched down in front of the heater and discussed body problems with other actresses (Because that's what we do. We're women.) I had no problem mentioning that this year I was forgoing the sky high heels and instead opting for the old lady Naturalizer shoes complete with Dr. Scholl's gel insoles this time around. Someone said I was the honeybadger of UPTA. As in "honeybadger don't give a shit!! It just takes what it wants!" I took it as a compliment. But it's not that I don't care! I just decided that I'm too old to try to be someone I'm not, to try to get cast as something I'm clearly not right for. I just sold myself, which is a lesson that takes time to learn. I had some wonderful callbacks and am hopeful that my time as a server will come to an end. (Or at least be put on hold for a while.)  I got to hug some wonderful people that I only get to see once a year if I am lucky. I ran into people I haven't seen in years. And I received a compliment from someone who gave me my first professional job. He said how much I've grown and how my choices in material are better every year. It meant a lot to hear that and I intend on keeping that memory fresh for the next several weeks/months when I continue to audition. I was lucky enough to see three of my dear friends from Little Rock as well and although my time there was far too short I was so glad just to hug people who I really feel I can talk to about anything. Good things.

Tomorrow I am performing as a part of Larry McKenna's New Voices Cabaret Season 3. I'm super pumped. My set is full of sarcasm and dry humor and my laughable love life. You should come. Or at least watch the video when it gets posted. :)

UPTA Mascot

On the Blue Plate Cafe menu. Apparently my wine and cheerios habit is a sin. Oh well. Cheers.

He was seriously considering spraying me. Not cool.

The sweetest little pup in her happy place.

I found my best lady friend!

Poor Sinovia does NOT do cold weather.

This is the only picture I was allowed to take of us being remotely friendly-like.

I Got A Feelin

I'm so excited!! In a matter of days I'm going to Memphis and I get to get out of town for a while and see SO many dear friends I haven't seen in a long time! UPTA has always been such a positive experience for me. It feels like a theater reunion less than an audition. I can't help but smile to think after a day of auditions I will get to see SO many old and new friends. SO many hugs. I can't handle it. BUT WAIT, there's more, you say? One of my best friends is going to pick me up in Memphis and we're going to drive to Little Rock and crash for a few days where even MORE BEST FRIENDS await. I'm one lucky girl. Time for an awesomely long weekend full of friends, drinks, and high belting. What more could a girl ask for?*

Temple Reunion last year! Love these guys.

(*Answer: A Margarita. You can always ask for a Margarita.)

I Never Feel Magic Unless I Am With You

New Years with my best friend!

So I haven't written a blog post in some time. I think it's hard to keep up a blog about acting if you feel you aren't working at the moment. And by feel I mean... am not working at the moment. Which is fine. Currently I am playing the role of bubbly, let me upsell till I have no soul left server scrapping for tables at a new restaurant. Life is on hold. And I am finally feeling that mid-twenties panic that causes people to settle down pre-maturely and marry the wrong people and start pumping out babies because "oh my god I'm gonna die someday my clock is ticking here you're mildly attractive lets live happily ever after I guess." Not that I'd ever do it but working with a bunch of 19 year olds for the first time I really felt OLD. Which is scary. Especially in a business that values youth and beauty so much. I'm not saying I'm used up yet. But I can see it on the horizon.

Along with increasing anxiety is the fact that I talk to myself a lot more. I was never one for talking to myself. Maybe cursing if a bee was chasing me but not exactly having a conversation with the little demon. But now I find myself in my car just commenting on the world around me....to myself. "Eff yeah taco bell!!" I exclaim as I pull into the drive-thru. Or I tell myself "Well, that sucked." I'm starting to think I really need some human companions instead of mostly dogs. Having three dogs  lends oneself to getting used to one sided conversations.

My other job is substitute teaching. You feel like a sleep-deprived, mid-twenties loser shadow of a person. At least elementary school kids "see" you. I might as well be a cardboard cutout of their teacher with a fake smile plastered on my face. I wear the same clothes every day. My hair is pulled back all of the time. I can't afford days off. I feel like a shell of someone who just a few months ago was kicking ass in a musical and connecting with audience members and adoring life. I was wondering when the post-show depression would kick in. Well, christmas is over folks. 

I am positive though. Just thought I'd share this experience. I know you have felt this. I know those of you not even in the arts have felt or are feeling this. I know it will get better. These periods of not-work really make you savor and appreciate the periods of omg I'm working and not only that I'm doing GOOD work. All I want to do now is not panic to pay my bills. That'd be a nice bonus. Then I could go see some Philly theater I've been dying to see. I need to see David Ingram on stage. That has to happen. So any donations would be generously accepted. Thanks in advance!


And here's some further proof that the only thing Daisy loves more than lounging on the couch is being photographed being ridiculously adorable:

My girl.

Tryin' To Get Up That Great Big Hill Of Hope

My family. (I had to ask my brother to put a shirt on so this is a rare photo)

So yesterday I turned 25, which means this song is even more relevant to me. I had a low-key birthday but I was touched by all of the comments, texts, and phone calls I received. I am a very lucky girl.

Laughing so hard I am crying. The best.

 I've had a lot of time to think to myself and reflect and overall I am so grateful for the experiences of this past year. This has been a year of learning. I've accomplished a lot of mini-goals I have set for myself and I am proud of how far I've come. It's hard to think that way though when you have about 15 dollars in your bank account. I know it's a temporary situation but it's scary. Like... panic attack scary. It's something that maybe most people don't like to talk about, but that's my life right now. But I wouldn't trade this year for anything. I accomplished quite a few things off of my 25 before 25 list. I landed a "part" (a few I'd even go so far as to say...!) I got myself a website, wrote more, fell in love, drank moonshine, taught and really felt confident that I've made a difference in some kids' lives. I also explored some more of the country, made some incredible friends and pushed myself as a performer. Maybe 25 was an ambitious number of accomplishments, but I think putting those things out in the universe helped me get to where I am. I think it's a good practice to lay your goals out as a road map for where you want to go next. So I've been thinking about what I want to see myself accomplish before *gasp* 26. These aren't in any particular order of importance.

1. I want to become less attached to objects. Mainly clothes. I admit that shopping is a hobby of mine and although I always try to find bargains, I really don't need any more clothes. It is something I enjoy but I need to learn to live with less and be happy.

2. I want to be more proactive about auditions and marketing myself. New headshots are going to happen soon. They have to. And I think getting some business cards and also offering my services as an audition coach for high school kids. I enjoy doing it and it might be a way to make some extra money. If only I could play piano better I could offer some voice coaching too!!

3. I want to be out of my parents house.

4. I want to move to NYC or Chicago. (goes along with 3)

5. I want to land a job in a state I've never been to before.

6. I want to play Suzy Simpson again.

7. Get that tattoo!

8. Touch a Great White Shark (hey, it's on every one of my lists. Maybe positive thinking works and you'll all be jealous!)

Wine and Good Friends. What else do you need?

These poor puppies!

Cute parentals.

Dad

Siblings at Birthday Dinner

I Got Bronchitis...Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

So as the title suggest, I got bronchitis. Not exactly the most wonderful thing to happen before closing weekend of a show with 30ish songs. BUT I am lucky that I am feeling much better. Still some chest pain and congestion but I have yet *knock on wood* to have a coughing fit onstage and I'm able *knock more on wood* to get through my big numbers. So instead of focusing on the negative I've been focusing on the positive. I've almost made it through a run of a show that seemed nearly impossible at the start. I went from being overwhelmed by this amount of music to being able to sing it in my sleep (literally). I feel so comfortable in my own skin and with the ladies I get to share the stage with.

Also, the other day the girls and I did an auditioning workshop at a local high school. The students were auditioning for their school's production of Pippin. Pippin was my first musical in High School. I was lucky enough to be cast in the ensemble as a freshman, which was a feat in and of itself. Then the girl playing Fastrada started to not show up for rehearsals. The director approached me and asked if I would sing her parts in rehearsals. Innocent enough, right? And it was fun. Then she started having me come to blocking rehearsals for that character, and eventually she said they'd probably give me one performance in the role. WHAT!? I was on top of the world. Then this girl drop-kicked another girl in the face into a locker and was suspended from school. I remember two upper-classmen boys coming up to me and hugging me and saying, "Do you know what this means?" I was like... "Yeah, I'm gonna play the part and this girl is gonna beat the shit out of me." I'm not gonna lie I was a little nervous about the repercussions. But I had a lead(ish) role as a freshman and my senior boyfriend (who I was CRAZY in love with. Emphasis on crazy) was playing my husband, Charlemagne. I was on cloud fricken nine. Looking back, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing but I had the time of my life. And it was because of luck. And because I'm a reliable actor. So workshopping these auditions for these kids who want to be in this show so badly brought a lot of that back, and also made me really see just how far I've come from that eager, know-nothing freshman in that purple-sequined dress to the actor I am today. Of course I'm still learning. Of course I'm really just starting my professional career. But it was really cool to be able to pass on some of what I've experienced to high schoolers with some of the same dreams and doubts as I had.


[ I wrote this last week but didn't have time/internet access to upload it. Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!]

Trip to Owego

#nofilter

Opening Performance Cookie Cake!

A funny moment in rehearsal,

The director and I being silly.

I have a friend!

Audition Workshop Action!

Thank You And Goodnight!