Saturday, August 31, 2013

Home is Wherever I'm With You

I've been home for two weeks and so far it's been pretty okay. I really haven't had too much time to sit feel sorry for myself and missing my Little Rock friends family. These two weeks have been full of unpacking, organizing, remodeling (including an additional closet rod and a SHOE CLOSET!!) and spending time with my family and my puppies. I'm glad I got to catch up with some friends and drink some good local beer, but it still feels strange. I'm not sure where I am when I wake up. I keep double-taking when I see people who resemble Arkansans. I'm always so disappointed when it isn't them. Right now I'm feeling excited for my next gig, and simultaneously terrified. I'm truthfully scared of failure, and scared that this will be my last play in a long time. I know that's the vampires talking ( [title of show] anyone?) But it's how I feel. I think once I get to Abilene and get down to rehearsal (One week, yeehawwww!) I will feel a bit better. I always do. Trying to focus on the positives and move forward. Something's coming.

But for now.... PUPPIES!

I love them so hard.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I'll See You Later or Please Don't Crying

    It's happening. My parents are here. Most of my belongings are already packed away in boxes and sealed shut. All of my artwork and knic-knacks are safely stowed away. The beer is (almost) gone. Tomorrow is my last full day in Arkansas and thus ends my year-long adventure. It's crazy to think about how much has changed since last year when I moved out here. I knew no one, was living on my own for the first time, and working my first relatively long-term/big-girl acting job out of college. It was lonely and scary and frustrating for a long time. But even through the hard times I knew that I had met some pretty cool people. And those pretty cool people turned out to be some pretty amazing, inspiring, life-changing people. And that has made all the difference. Tonight I parted with possibly my best friend here. She's the first person who reached out to me with open arms and sarcasm and laughter and I will love her forever for all of the things she is and has done for me. I started to cry and she pet my face and said, "Please don't crying!!" I have a feeling I'm going to have to tell myself that more than a few more times before I leave and even after. I will make myself a promise not to say goodbye. I will
only say see you later because I will do my damnedest to return and hopefully do some more kickass theater in the Natural State.  I leave Little Rock with a heavy heart, but it is because it is so full. I am so fucking lucky.

A quiet last moment in the theater. I think an empty stage has such a presence. There are memories of the past, but there is so much possibility and hope for what is to come. (Cue: "I Was Meant For The Stage" by The Decemberists. Okay... I swear I'm done.)