Wednesday, July 24, 2013

This Is How It Works

One of my awesome Playmaking students rocking my swag.

    So Summer Theatre Academy is in it's second week now and it is exhausting yet gratifying work. I do however, feel burnt out and anxious. I'm leaving here so soon and I feel very torn. I spent so much time not feeling comfortable here and being homesick, and now with a few weeks left I am dreading leaving. I like having employment. I love having these friends and feeling like I could be part of a little community. I like these kids. I love having my own apartment. It's going to be very hard to leave. A good friend of mine told me that I have to focus on the positives waiting for me back home or I will drive myself crazy. It's easier said than done. No matter if I went or stayed, I would miss out on or lose something. I do miss my family and my puppies. I miss my few friends still at home. But living at home isn't easy when you're a young adult, and our house is very small for five grown adults and three VERY grown (fat) doggies. I know home is the best place to be for what I want to do. I want to dive back into the Philly theatre scene. I have to start getting myself to New York and save money and live at home as long as my parents will have me. I just never expected to fall in love with this place. Sure it's not perfect and I still get lonely and whatnot, but that's anywhere: that's life. I'm sure I have great experiences awaiting me back east, I just needed to share how I feel. This is (hopefully) the first of many times I will have to leave a place just as soon as it felt like home.

Alexander Lie Down. YES.
    But alas, the actor's life for me. It's worth it. Here's an example of why I need to keep pursuing this. I've  had one male high-school student in my project and in one of my classes for almost two weeks now. He is a fantastic singer with this great tenor voice and is very expressive and energetic. He's a smart kid. But for some reason his words get all mushed up in his mouth when he speaks. I have him in my Voice and Diction class, and I was repeatedly telling him to over-accentuate his articulation, but no real audible change was happening. He has a major part in our project and is barely understandable. It was puzzling. But today in class he was working on his Spoon River poem and I had a suspicion that his problem was with placement and using his facial mask as his primary resonator to get the words out. I really don't know what I'm doing, but I had him place his fingers on the sides of his nose on his cheek bones and had him really over-do it with the nasal resonance. He started to speak and the other students who were sitting in the back of the auditorium. "Wow." One even said. It was amazing to see that I could help someone who wants to pursue professional acting change a habit that was really going to hold them back from working. It was a really nice moment. I know I'm not the best teacher, but I am learning, and it was really special that I had a part in this young actor's growth. I know my voice and speech teachers have changed me forever as a performer and I'm forever thankful. I only hope I can be half as impactful as they were.

So yeah, I guess that's why I have to go on to bigger and better things. I'm not finished learning. I'm not finished discovering. I can't stay in one place, as safe as it feels. I have to take some risks and live my life. Wish me luck.

My kids trying to get out of a knot. This was chaotic to say the least.

This wouldn't be my blog without some dog pics! Introducing Salvador Dogi, everyone!

Me and lil Sal and/or Bambi.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Home is Wherever I'm With You

    It has recently come to my attention that I will be moving back home in about 40 days and leaving this year in Arkansas behind. And you know what? Several months ago I couldn't wait to leave. But now I know I'm going to be a little more than heartbroken. Something has happened in the past several months. I guess it takes this long to get close to people in a new place, but I feel like I'm just getting comfortable.. with living alone, my job(s), and my friendships. I'm starting to feel like I fit somewhere, and I haven't felt that way since college. Living at home isn't the worst thing in the world. There are things I love about home. But besides my family (roommates) most of the people who made home a place worth living have moved away or have very busy jobs and families of their own. I was not expecting to leave this many people behind that I truly have connections to. And maybe it is only a handful of folks, but I will miss that handful dearly. I know I have things to look forward to at home. Philly theater, NYC trips/auditions, STEEL FREAKING MAGNOLIAS!!!!!! And old, true friends. But as unlikely as it seemed at first I am definitely leaving a piece of my heart here.
In other news, Junior Arts ended and I've gained back my sanity. Teaching at Summer Theater Academy has been a blast. I really enjoy the kids and have been learning tons from the more experienced teachers. Also enjoy my restaurant job. (Whoda thunk?)

Alright, photo catch up:

So adorable when they all sang at once. As soon as the singing was done though chaos ensued.

Seriously the sweetest kid at JA.

Super kids!

The most terrifying child art from Junior Arts. Good luck sleeping tonight.

Some nice friends kept me company while I watched Oliver at Arkansas Shakes!
Amurrica. Little Rock.
Not gonna try to explain this. But it will haunt me for a long time.

Also today I re-read all of my earlier posts and one quote of mine from my very first post stuck out to me. Going to attempt to take my own advice:

" But I do have faith that once I am settled and throw myself into the work and am reminded once again of why I chose this path (because it makes life worth it) I will start to get myself together."